


I'm not crazy I'm just Delusional

by 7billionothersandme



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Asylum, Catatonic, Depression, Gen, Hallucinations, Implied Castiel/Dean Winchester, Manic - Freeform, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, psychiatric hospital
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-28
Updated: 2013-08-28
Packaged: 2017-12-24 22:43:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/945527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7billionothersandme/pseuds/7billionothersandme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam Winchester suffers from hallucinations and is recovering from a severe drug addiction, Dean is severely depressed and has a history of drinking, Castiel is catatonic, Gabriel is manic and Anna is schizophrenic. This is a day in their lives at Sioux Falls psychiatric facility.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sam

Name: Sam Winchester

Age: 30

Mental Condition: Severe and persistent hallucinations that result in exhaustion and occasionally violent behaviour. Possibly triggered by severe drug addiction to ecstasy.

 

He never leaves me alone. He's always there, just at the corner of my eye. It's so annoying. That's why I get angry sometimes, I just want Him to leave me alone and let me sleep. That's also why I'm here I guess. My family couldn't cope with the mood swings or the exhaustion or the fact that sometimes they would find me crying in the corner because He was torturing me again.

The doctors tell me it isn't real, and I know they're right. But that doesn't make it any easier, or any less realistic. 

The pills they give me make me tired, and help me to sleep when he doesn't stop singing. I wish I could sleep more, I'm so tired all the time. Sometimes he'll let me start to drift off and then suddenly my skin is burning and the rooms filled with smoke and I can't get out and it hurts so much. Times like that they have to properly sedate me, with a needle and everything.

My therapist said this would be a good idea, to get how I feel out, so that when I get better, I can see how far I've come, and also just to make me feel a bit better. But it's hard to type a lot, because I'm too tired to type properly. It doesn't help that Lucifer's blowing in my ear and poking my ribs. He's making it really hard to focus.

I really hope I get better. I don't want to be like this forever.


	2. Dean

Name: Dean Winchester

Age: 34

Mental Condition: Severe depression due to abusive childhood, has a history of drinking problems. 

 

I don't really know what to write. My therapist said it would help me or something. I don't think it will. I have nothing to say.

I guess I could tell you how I got here, even though it's fucking awful. My name is Dean Winchester, I suffer from severe depression. My brother Sam is here too, but we're not allowed to be together because apparently our relationship was "unhealthy and codependent". Which is complete bullshit. 

When I was four there was a fire that burned down our home, Mom didn't make it. Sammy was only six months. Things went downhill from there. John started to drink, he went kinda mad with grief I suppose. He couldn't bear to be near the house, so he drove us all around the country, never staying in one place for more than a month. I think he was trying to run away from what happened. 

Sammy and I went to school, but I never did all that well because of the moving, but Sammy was real smart, he was gonna go to Harvard and become a big shot lawyer with a nice girl and a white picket fence. I was just hoping to pick up a job wherever I could, fixing cars or something like that. 

Anyhow, John drank a lot, and he wasn't often there, but when he was he was either sleeping it off or watching the news. He said I had to look after Sammy whatever happened, one time he ran away, and when John came back... Well, needless to say, things got kind of ugly. I didn't tell Sammy any of that though, I didn't wanna hurt him. 

As soon as he was old enough, he ran off to go to Harvard. I was so proud, but I hated that he left me with John, who was pretty far gone most of the time. I had to work for both of us, and if I didn't make enough or get enough booze he got pissed. One time he even smacked me round the head with his sawed-off. But that didn't matter 'cause Sammy got out.

When John finally kicked it, I went and got a job at a salvage yard, I didn't know what had happened to Sammy. He had fallen in with a bad crowd, the worst. He got hooked onto some pretty bad stuff, ended up in hospital, and when the hallucinations started he got sent here. I was the only family he had, so they contacted me. And well, I went nuts. Couldn't cope with the fact that I let that happen to him, after all I had to do when we were kids. So I took to drink, and kept going down, till one night I tried to off myself. I couldn't take it any more, but someone found me, took me to the hospital, and now I'm classified as nuts, just like my baby brother.

I know, it's freaking heartbreaking, right.


	3. Castiel

Name: Castiel Novak

Age: 37

Mental Condition: Catatonic due to extreme mental and physical trauma.

 

I have chosen to write this short piece on behalf of Castiel, as he is currently unable to do so himself. My name is Meg Masters, I'm a nurse at Sioux Falls, and Castiel is my responsibility. He was admitted about six months ago, dirty, dishevelled, and unable to remember who he was. After a few therapy sessions things began to come back to him. He then shut down and hasn't uttered a word since. We still have very little idea of what happened to him.

Every day he sits perched on the edge of his bed, staring straight at the wall in front of him. When I come to give him his pills and food he doesn't look at me. If I hadn't been working here for so long I might have been disturbed by this, but as it is, I just accept the fact that he can't, or won't, interact with me.

The only things he disclosed to us before he shut down were a few muttered words when I gave him his breakfast the day after the third therapy session. He grabbed my arm and whispered, " I didn't mean it. I was tricked." He then turned away, and took his pills.

As far as we are aware, he has no relatives or friends who might know what happened.

Dean Winchester however has developed a particular fondness for him, even though Castiel never looks at him or replies. On the single hour each week Castiel has to go along to group sessions Dean waits outside his room and then walks next to him, while an orderly leads him (he can't go by himself). They never talk but every so often their arms brush, and I swear I saw something flicker in his eyes. 

I think Dean will be good for him.


	4. Gabriel

Name: Gabriel Armstrong

Age: 26

Mental Condition: Is very manic and can have trouble controlling his emotions. 

 

HI!!!! I'm Gabriel! But you can call me Gabe! My therapist or whatever said i SHOULD RIGHT THIs thing. I suppose it's kind cool, like a blog, but they dont actually let us have blogs which i think is totally unfair, id love to have a blog. i asked hwo else was doing this and they said that dean, sam, and castiel had done it, i dont really know them. They're a bit too quiet, but i suppose they need to be, you cant have two manics together, thatw ould jst be insane. I'm not great at typing because my brain is so much faster than my hands so i tend to get letters and stuff jumbled but i dont really care. AS long as its readable, right?

People dont tend to realise that being manic is actually real hard. I mean, when i get proper manic, i feel like i can do anything, and i go kinda crazy, like jumping on the tables screaming kind of crazy, but the rest of the time im more like a puppy. people find it really tough to cope, thats why im here, the staff are trained to deal with people like me and they know when im about to crack.

My dad sent me here when i was about 19, after i nearly died diving off a bridge because i thought i was an angel and could fly, and that it also wouldnt hurt if i landed, but when i was younger they just thought i was wweirdly hyper but when it didnt stop they went and got me a therapist and crap.

its so weird learning that youre manic, i never really realised that not everyone is as jumped up as me, but when i crash its real bad, sometimes i odnt move for a few days, but i mean, it neevr lasts long, not like cassie, whose been closed ever since he got here.

i hope i never end up like that, it seemse awful...

ANYHOW by for now, i hope i get to do more of these, theyre loads of fun!!!!!"!


	5. Anna

Name: Anna Milton

Age:20

Mental Condition: Religious Delusions, believes she is an angel and that the apocalypse will happen. Schizophrenic, claims the voices she hears are angels.

 

My name is Anna. I am an angel of the Lord. I know the hospital staff think I'm making it up, that I'm mad, but it's not true. What is true, is that the apocalypse is coming.

Lillith is attempting to break the 66 seals, and no-one seems to realise that the world is going to end unless someone does something about it. I can hear the angels, and they are trying to get Dean and Sam to help them.

Dean is on my floor, he's very nice, but he doesn't believe me when I tell him that the angels need him to help stop the world ending. He just tells me there's no such thing, but I know there is! I am one of them! And I hear them, sometimes, and they talk about him, a lot.

In fact, the first thing I heard was, "Dean Winchester has been saved." If that's not a sign then I don't know what is. And the really amazing thing is, that that's the exact day he was checked in. Apparently him being here saved him. I told him that, but he just laughed meanly, and told me it was too late to save him, he'd already fallen. Which confused me, because he's not an angel, so how could he fall?

The doctor said I shouldn't write about this stuff on here, but it's so important! How could I not? He said I should write about my life, but this is my life.

I am an angel, and it is part of my job to protect and defend the Earth from scum like Lillith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! any comments or kudos would be appreciated :) i might do another kind of like this depending


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